Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Afraid of the dark

Who hasn't been afraid of the dark?
Well, until now my darling, precious, innocent little boy.
Tonight was the first night that Ryder cried that he was "Scared!"  I don't really even know that he knows what that means - considering last night he referred to Daniel's outfit as scary.  Don't know where he would come up with that! ;)  But when I went back in (after multiple times leaving) to ask him what was going on and WHY he was, "scared," he said, "the dark."  We pulled out a night light, talked about the dark - how like his book says, "the night is just a blanket that helps the earth to sleep," we prayed (again), and then Daniel took a little nap in there with him until he went to sleep.  
As I left the room and went to the kitchen to make his pumpkin pie to take to his big boy thanksgiving lunch at school tomorrow I had a brief moment of, "mommy wants to melt down."  I have such a natural maternal need to protect him.  I mean, I want to let him grow and am anxious to see what he will do and what he will become {especially on days like today when he - at 2 yrs old -tells me he lives in America and reads his daddy's "musicians friend" at leisure} yet something in me wants to just push pause, wrap him up in some sort of magic bubble wrap and send him on his way through life protected and shielded.  
So tonight my prayer was God, help my sweet boy know that you love him and hold him when Mommy can't.  And just as you care for the smallest birdie show him how much more you will you care for him.  
And my prayer for myself was the same... help Mommy to believe that too.

1 comment:

Carrie Stephens said...

Beth! This is fantastic. Yes. Help us all to let them learn about the big world and prepare them to live in it. I have had MANY "mommy meltdowns" at the thought of all they will face in their lives. It's so hard. I don't know how I would do it without trusting in a loving, powerful God. That is truly scary!