Tonight as we're putting Ryder to bed I say, "We might just have a quiet day at home tomorrow." To which he replies, "We're not gonna go ANYwhere? Well, WHAT are we gonna do?!?"
Ryder is what I like to call the Cruise Director these days.
He sits in his car seat, sweet and inquisitive as can be and asks a million questions. He needs to know everything. Where are WE going? Where everyone else is, what they are doing and most importantly, WHAT'S NEXT?!?
I can't say that any of this is not my fault. I'm the exact same way.
I thrive on change, movement and excitement. Planning & doing is my thing. And he watches and falls right in place behind me.
Example... We were going to the football game Friday night that his Pre-K was involved in and when I told him he was gonna run through a banner on the field with the cheerleaders at the opening of the game well, here came a million questions. One that was puzzling to me was, "But why? I don't want to get the paint from the banner on my face!" I was thinking to my self, he's gonna get to run on a football field, why would he be worried about this?
So lately with Ryder's constant questioning- and basically worrying- it's got me questioning myself as well. Why does he feel such need to be concerned with these miniscule details of life? Why can't he just sit still and RELAX? And know that Mommy's got it under control? Well, yes it is because I too feel the need to be concerned with these details of life and incoherently air them to my children. I have to question and worry the day away.
This morning at church someone got up to exhort after worship and the last thing they said was, we worry and fret over all of these "things." "Things that are not of any eternal value." Ann Voskamp says in 1000 Gifts - which I HIGHLY recommend - "Life is not an Emergency. Only the amateurs run fast." She tweeted Shakespeare one day: "Wisely & slow. They stumble that run fast."
I am trying so hard to live in that eucharisteo and this is how I've resolved to celebrate the holidays this year. Yes, I have deadlines, many. Yes, I already have a holiday list of a million things to do, the events are growing by the day and the wondering of how we're gonna have time & money to do it all begins. But I've resolved to focus on the eternal and live in that gratefulness now.
For some reason it's not enough to sit still in my "car seat" of life and rest in God's grace. But God I'm trying to...
thankful.
xoxo
1 comment:
Beth,
I loved your post. I can identify with alot of what you are saying. I too am reading that same book. Our family has been slowed down tremendously with my sister's recent diagnosis of a very aggressive and frightening cancer. She is 36 years old tomorrow, with 2 children, and all of our priorities have just shifted in a major way. All of a sudden, nothing else matters but her health and getting her well. I am definitely finding myself in the "carseat" as you call it, and just rest - letting God be in control of every detail of my life. I pray that we can all learn to rest in His very capable hands. Thank you for sharing your heart.
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