Friday, November 8, 2013


One day in July I was on one of my normal (just about daily) walks through hobby lobby.  Darting in with two kids flying past the breakables, pleading for cooperation when it hit me.  Suddenly there it was - the fall stuff.  I could feel the tears welling up as my heart began to beat faster.  Even past the horrible acoustic rendition of "Lord I lift your name on high," playing in the background, kids tugging on me, screaming for snacks and random unassuming moms all around I felt it hitting me and began to cry.  
Fall has always been my favorite time of the year.  And we all know I love to celebrate.  So as I felt the pain rise up in me with the mere sight of decorations I felt confused and unsure of the days ahead.  A few weeks later I was praying with some girls one night and I mentioned my fear of the season ahead.  My sweet friend said in the most simplistic but firm way, "You just need NEW memories this year."  It was simple in theory but more difficult for my mind to grasp how I would implement that.  

I do have good memories of last fall.  Despite the heartache that accompanied them, I documented a lot through the #ichoosethankfulness series.  A friend posted on IG the challenge and I jumped in and am so thankful for the impact it had on my heart.  It truly changed the course of our gratitude going forward and walking through this past year.  Some of my hard but favorite photos from last year...

I felt the same pain this morning - it hit me out of nowhere just like that day in hobby lobby.  I walked through the living room and glanced up to see the Rockefeller center tree being rolled down the streets of NYC on the today show. I've only been to NYC a handful of times but the first was this exact time of year and the thrill of the city preparing for the holidays was something I can't even describe.  I felt it in my heart.  Preparation for this season in my soul.  
We're moving out of our house next weekend.  As we prepared to put our house on the market it became clear how much I wanted to move... before the holidays.  We don't have a new house yet.  But we have an amazing half-way house with some very giving friends! ;)  It WILL be a good season, full of NEW memories.  And I AM thankful.  And I know that on the other side of the crazyness ahead is a newness we can't imagine.  And I'm clinging to that.  
When we bought this house our backyard was a lusious garden reaping the harvest of a sweet little widow.  Well, after having kids, despite our best intentions that didn't last.  And the past few seasons of drought have completely wreaked havoc on it!  When we were getting ready to list the house we had to rent a chipper and haul out all the dead stuff.  I kinda thought the only beauty left in it was the free roaming yellow lantana and the last standing rosemary bushes.  
But this week I found this little spot...

God is still a God of new seasons.  If you're in a drought, there's beauty ahead.  If you're in a winter, there's a spring budding up below you.  Hang in there.  And CHOOSE thankfulness with me.  Please?

I should probably start packing now...

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